Written by the CultivaTeen Roots Team

6-minute read

In August 2024, the U.S. The Department of Health and Human Services released an advisory message on behalf of the United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivkem Murthy. This advisory focused on society's desperate need to shift how we value and prioritize mental health and the overall well-being of parents and caregivers. 

 “Over the last decade, parents have been consistently more likely to report experiencing high levels of stress compared to other adults. 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults. When stress is severe or prolonged, it can harm the mental health of parents and caregivers, which in turn also affects the well-being of the children they raise. Children of parents with mental health conditions may face heightened risks for symptoms of depression and anxiety and for earlier onset, recurrence, and prolonged functional impairment from mental health conditions” (Advisory Message).  

Additionally, the popular New York Times podcast, Times, The Daily,  featured an episode in October 2024 about the detrimental impact of parenting on parents themselves, “The Parents Aren’t Alright”. With managing social media, pandemic recovery, academic pressures, and a complicated political landscape, our teens are facing uncharted waters, which means that as a parent, you’re also navigating entirely new terrain. While parenting is an experience that can bring immense joy, fulfillment, and purpose, it can also feel all-consuming, exhausting, and stressful. While we hope there will be a cultural shift that prioritizes and supports the needs of parents, until then, we encourage you to build self-care into your life in a way that feels manageable and realistic. 

Explore these ideas further in our first course, Making AdoleSense!

So, how do you incorporate self-care routines into your already busy schedule? And what does self-care mean? Here are some practical strategies to help you in your journey towards prioritizing yourself!

• Setting Boundaries Around Your Time.  It’s ok to say no. As parents, we are quite literally juggling a million different things. Whether it's rushing from work to a parent-teacher conference, picking up a sick child from school, preparing dinner for a sports team party, or reminding your teen daily to put away their clean laundry, it can often feel like your entire day revolves around meeting the needs of everyone except yourself. While the impulse to say “yes” to everything likely comes from a genuine desire to help, it can also leave you feeling exhausted and burnt out. Self-awareness around what your schedule and energy reasonably allow, as well as what your priorities are, can help you set boundaries around your availability and time.

***Benefits for Your Teen and Family: Saying “no” can set a powerful example for your teen because it shows them that setting limits is healthy. Saying “yes” to everything can feel exhausting and deplete our energy. Modeling healthy relationships and boundaries shows your teen that you honor and value your own needs and well-being. 

• Focus Your Energy on What Fuels Positivity in Your Life: In a busy world filled with endless to-do lists, it's easy to get sucked into plans that don’t bring positivity into our lives. Identifying activities and relationships that provide joy and shifting your focus away from experiences and people that cause stress can help replenish your emotional and mental load.  

***Benefits for Your Teen and Family: When teens observe caregivers engaging in activities and relationships that are uplifting, it can inspire them to invest their energy in healthier ways. Sharing what brings you joy can help your teen learn how to manage their energy and time in ways that fill them up and provide connection.

•  Find 5, 10, or 15 minutes of “Me Time” Daily: “Me time” doesn’t have to be a lavish vacation or spa day. Of course, those kinds of experiences are welcome, but during the daily grind of parenting, this kind of pampering regularly is likely unrealistic. Identifying small but regular self-care practices, whether that’s taking 20 minutes to listen to an audiobook or 5 minutes each night to set your coffee up so it’s ready to go the next morning, provides you the opportunity to recharge consistently, so you don’t burn out.

**Benefits for Your Teen and Family: Dedicating even a short period to yourself can allow you to return to your daily tasks and obligations feeling less stressed and more patient. Modeling this type of self-care is important for your teen because it models the importance of providing care for oneself.

Final Thoughts

Self-care might seem like a trendy buzzword, but taking time for yourself not only enhances your well-being, it models positive habits for your teen, leading to long-term health and satisfaction. Teens can learn valuable lessons about boundaries, self-respect, and coping skills through witnessing how you take care of yourself. Check out our course Making AdoleSense for a more comprehensive look at how to prioritize your needs to enhance your and your teen’s connection.